Rosie is a 13-year-old girl from Loughborough. She was referred to Love4Life as she was very anxious and worried about her life, to the extent it ruled her day-to-day behaviour, particularly when it came to making new friends She had been bullied in the past, and had a very limited circle of friends. Her teachers had noticed that she was always worried, and very shy and withdrawn in class. She had convinced herself that she was no good as a person, and that therefore people didn’t want to be around her. In her attempts to cope with this, she had become a people-pleaser, spending her time trying to earn the approval of others, rather than doing the things that she wanted to do. Rosie struggled to see a life without worry, and often became extremely overwhelmed.
When starting our sessions we had to reassure Rosie that we wouldn’t judge her, and that she didn’t have to worry about what she was saying, or what we were thinking about her.
We agreed together that we would explore the root cause of Rosie’s worries and find ways for her to control them better, as well as do some self-esteem building activities to help her build her confidence. We looked at her core beliefs about herself, and how they caused her anxiety, and started to help her to challenge these beliefs. We explored what it is that makes a person valuable, and helped her to see that none of the things she was worried about could change her inherent value and worth. Rosie was able to come to accept that her worries didn’t stem from anything concrete, but instead were rooted in thinking about worst-case scenarios and misinterpreting things that happened to her.
With our help Rosie was able to be more objective when analysing her worries, and she started to tell herself that they were not true. This was something she had not been able to do before. As Rosie practised doing this in her own time, she became more confident in herself and her ability to control her anxiety. By the end of our time together, Rosie was able to name many positive characteristics that she exhibited, and they influenced the lives of her family and friends.
Rosie told us that our sessions together had been very helpful for her, and that whilst she was able to talk to others about her worries, having an objective person outside of her family and friendship circles to talk to had been extremely helpful for her at that time.
Rosie reflected that she could see how she had improved during our sessions and that the activities and tools we had given her were working.